The Conformity Virus

Hi, its great to see you back!

No. 6 of Series: Success Factors.

I am sure you are familiar with the story of the frog. This story is a classic one that illustrates the results of conformity. It goes like this:

The frog is set in a pan of water and he is in his element, happily enjoying the water. You put the pan over some heat, just a little, and the water starts to get a little warm, but the frog accommodates and continues to enjoy the water.

After all warm water is not so bad. Gradually you turn up the heat, and with each increase of temperature, the frog adjusts and continues with his play.

Next thing he knows (or perhaps by now he doesn’t know) it’s Bon Apetit!

Frog legs for lunch!

What happened? Little by little the frog conformed or accommodated himself to the change in temperature and once he got used to it, the heat increased and he repeated the process.

Finally it was too late. The climate was beyond his ability to deal with, but all the time he was totally unaware of what was happening, and now the situation was way outside of his control.

“So what does that have to do with me?” you might be thinking. In at least some areas of our lives, or at one time or another we have all fallen into the conformity trap.

For some of us it may have taken a lifetime to end up
like the frog (fully cooked), but it happened.

Wikipedi defines confirmity:
Conformity is the result of a process by which people’s beliefs or behaviors are influenced by others within a group in the formation and maintenance of social norms.

That is the key in the story of the frog is that the change was subtle and reaching the horrific end result was a process. This is the deception we are dealing with. The responses to the influences are subtle and the resulting change is indeed a process. The conformity virus catches us unawares!

Let’s take a look at some of the things we conform to. A lot of these things we are unaware of because we grew up with them, we never knew anything different.

Some of the classics comments I hear all the time:

“Well I did not need it anyway” when faced with a loss.
My mother always said …
I don’t need much, all I need to earn is just enough for food and rent.
I can live without this or them
Well I just don’t come from a rich family, but that is fine …
I tried many of those strategies, but they did not work for me. Oh well I guess it is just not for me.

We can discover these “conformities” by taking note of our responses to what happens to us or around us, whether they be thoughts, words or actions.

All of those phrases in the examples above are negative, and I am sure you also have heard them many times.

Of course you have never used them right? Mm, I think if we are all honest at one time or another we have a least been tempted to give up in some area of our lives.

So what IS conformity?
It is an attitude that adjusts to small “insignificant” failures or negative situations that over time become big negatives in our lives.

You know, the times you give yourself “permission” to fail on your daily goals (just for today of course),

How can I stop this conformity virus from contaminating my mindset?

Become consciously aware of certain words and phrases that you think or speak:
Phrases such as – oh well, well I don’t need it anyway, well I really can live without it, well I never did expect to be as good as (some person you look up to).

Checklist:
How many times a day do such thoughts cross my mind?
What have I done about them?
What will I do about them now?
Once you notice these thoughts, stop them in their tracks. Ask yourself “what do you mean, oh well?”.

Checklist:
Do I plan to stay alert today to all that crosses my mind?
How can I turn these “oh well” thoughts into a positive declaration that will help achieve my success dreams and goals?
Decide that second best won’t do for you.

Checklist:
Have I accepted second best in my life?
How many times?
When is that going to stop?
What are my strategies for turning this around?
Take a look back at your life, and notice the patterns of thought when facing certain situations. Make a decision to change the patterns that were sabotaging your destiny for success.

Checklist:
What patterns do I note during my lifetime that has led to results I really don’t want?
What do I plan to do about these patterns?