Pillar No 5 of the 12 Pillars of Leadership – Self Control, Lose It And You Lose All Control
One of the most important pillars for solid leadership is self control. I am sure that you have heard the quote:
“Your actions speak so loud, I can’t hear what you are saying.”
(If you know who said this, please let me know).
The simple fact is that is in order to gain the respect and HEART co-operation of your team, you will need to live a life that has a huge measure of self-discipline and self-control.
There is so much that we could explore on this subject, but let’s keep it in a simple bit sized portion for today. There will very likely be more discussed about this very important area at a future date.
One huge benefit of learning to exercise self-control in your “private life”. Self control gives you authenticity as a leader. Integrity is a part of this also.
Here is a great definition of integrity for you to consider:
Integrity is being and doing the same things when no one is watching as you would when the whole world is watching.
The areas you have under control in your private life, will be easy to keep under control while in public.
In other words, what you do when no one is watching (or when you think no one is watching) is the real you. This is the “you” that people will either follow or not (and we are talking about eagerly following from the heart).
An aside note: Parents are leaders. This means that whatever you expect of your children, YOU also expect of yourself (and DO it).
What you do when your children are not watching WILL affect their respect for you. (For example, if you chastise them for talking bad about others and then in private YOU criticize others – in word OR thought, you have just lost your authority with your children).
Here is a reality to consider:
Whatever pressures you face when you are “insignificant” will be greatly multiplied when you come to be in the “public eye”. That is just the way it is.
This means, that whatever habit or area of your life you are unable to control when you are “unknown”, will destroy you when you rise to a level of success and fame. That is IF you do not take the time and effort to control this area NOW.
When I use the word “fame” this does not mean that the whole world may come to know you. But YOUR world will come to know you in your position as a leader. That is important.
Top three daily exercises that will get you started on the road to self control which will allow you to lead with confidence and authority.
These exercises need to be maintained as a
TOP PRIORITY in your daily schedule.
1. Read from a non-fiction motivational book for 30 minutes a day.
It would be a good idea to use this 30 minutes to read the Bible (for 15 minutes – perhaps a Psalm, Proverb or a chapter from one of the four gospels), plus a chapter of a good challenging motivational or inspirational book.
2. Take at least 15-30 minutes to listen to a good motivational audio or video. You can find many videos from Jim Rohn, Tony Robbins, George Zalucki and many others on YouTube. You can also download some excellent free audios and videos from John Di Lemme here.
3. Make a decision to AVOID ALL negative, demoralizing and violent TV programs and movies that scoff and jeer at those who seek to live a wholesome positive life.
This may mean that close to 90% of what you have been watching will need to be canceled from your daily agenda. Or just leave it off completely and use the time to watch some great motivational videos from what you have downloaded.
But understand this: what you feed your mind with, becomes a part of you.
Your daily focus, thoughts and habits become your actions!
These three things will get you started on the road to living a positive wholesome life worthy of being followed.
I am sure that you have some suggestions and experiences too. Please share them below in the comment section.
Photo Credits: Rebootyourcomputer’s on Flickr
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March 31st, 2010 at 9:47 pm
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